she smelled like a LAN party
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
