He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
