yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
