This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
