at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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