all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
