And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
