he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
