yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
4 words: hood of his car
Too much gin, very little bucket
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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