I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've blown a few things in my day
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
