New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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