none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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