Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize