We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
