The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
