Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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