fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
