so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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