i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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