Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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