there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
