just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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