Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
