Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
