i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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