I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
