I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
