I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
