i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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