We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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