He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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