The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
