based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
