So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
