So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
