Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
