there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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