dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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