Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize