i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
