Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
