you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize