you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
