Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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