i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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