I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
