a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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