so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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