just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
