puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
