I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
