Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
