Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
