quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
