So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
