Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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