Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
